The "C" Word

Two days ago I was hit with a phone call that changed my life. A call that made me realize that none of us are invincible. The Cancer bomb was dropped on me and I am not sure how to deal. It's a word that no one is prepared to hear and it basically is looked upon as a death sentence. It makes you just want to give up and realize that as healthy as you may be and as smart as you may think you are cancer does not care and can strike anyone at anytime. It really doesn't care who you are.

Just for no one to worry, it's not me. It's a family member that doesn't want to not make a big deal about it and doesn't want to have too much attention drawn to himself. But seeing how right now I need all the prayers and positive thoughts send in that direction I feel the need to blog it out. It's prostrate cancer and it's at the very early stages so it's going to be treatable. There will be surgery on the 13th so I need everyone sending positive thoughts that day.

It seems like recently this "C" word has been around me for a while, just not in my immediate family. 4 out of 5 of my closest girlfriends have been dealing with this as well. They have not been so lucky though. One friends dad died last year and the other 3's are terminally ill. So you can imagine when I got this call how I would take the news. It seems to be a very common thing and all men should be aware of this.

I have been on this positive thinking brings positive results kick and it seems to be working. This is just testing me and making it tough. But for my family I will be as positive as I can be. I believe that he will be ok and that he will beat this with no problem. I will tell myself that every day. There is no other option in my book. 

So what I am asking you as friends and readers is that you tell EVERY man in your life, no matter what their age, to go get checked. This obviously is common think and 1 out of 6 men will get it. Odds are, you will know someone or several people who will get this. Also, I am asking you to please pray/send positive thoughts, whatever you may do, to my family especially on the 13th. 

Thank you ahead of time!!

Some people...

So my roommate went out with this guy one time. One time months ago. It was a pretty lame date, as I recall. He sent this to her today to ask her out again. He is so full of himself it makes me sick. This is the typical over 40 but thinks he is way younger NYC guy.

He's "Given up on the written word" but yet he was on his way to go "do some writing". Way to contradict yourself fool.

After he sent this he found out that she has been seeing a mutual friend of his. So he sends her a "break-up" email that says:

 

Hey,

Bumped in to Tom Ruff after I sent the vid earlier. He mentioned that you guys have been seeing each other and are together now. No worries. He's a great guy. But, obviously, we can't see each other anymore. Strict rules about such things. Just so you know, I didn't mention that we were dating. 

Good Luck!

E

They went out ONE time!!! Why is it that women get labeled as the crazy ones when there are men out there like this? This isn't the first time one of us has been "broken up with" without even dating a guy. 

Some men are insane!! This for sure is one of them!

I get by with a little help from my friends....

Just wanted to say THANK YOU to all my blog readers and friends who have contacted me for the past 2 weeks. I know I have been vague with what's going on but you were able to still figure it all out. Friend intuition I guess.

Was dating this amazing man who I felt really strongly about and thought that everything was perfect all to find out that it was so not perfect and that I was being lied to for over a month. Just another heartbroken break up.  I'm used to them by this point (pity party I know). It's tough. But I am ok. I have great friends who have listened to me talk about it and give me their advice, which usually includes them being allowed to kick him in the family jewels the next time they see him. I haven't told them that they can do that but I also haven't told them that they can't. They are grown women so what they do when I'm not around is totally up to them. I just hope he figures things out and can become the man I feel that he really is.

On a different note, so much has been going on as it normally does in the Spring time. We have had engagement parties, birthday parties and just fun hey let's hang parties night after night after night. I have had no time to sleep, eat and think about anything else other than having fun with my friends. I am having a hard time finding time to exercise but since I have had no time to eat it all works out in the end. (Disclaimer: It is not healthy to not eat. I know this. I know. It's not on purpose)

This weekend my parents and the Bakers are coming in town so I will be busy with them not to mention having to fit in another birthday party, engagement party and a welcome to Summer party. I plan to be surviving on coffee the next few days. 

I wasn't planning on traveling this Summer but I am itching to get on a plane. Where should I go??? I have another opportunity to go back to Italy in September but not sure if I can wait that long. Maybe I will go somewhere before and still hit up Italy in the fall. SO who's with me? Who wants to go? 

Celeb update: I see Harry Potter every Sunday morning in my neighborhood leaving from what looks like a rough night of partying. He is always in a black leather jacket and skin tight jeans. He is also a tiny little short man, not too much taller than me. It's always interesting. 

Ok, that's enough from me today. Hope you all have a great week!

Trust

Being my mothers daughter and being raised in a Christian home I was always taught to trust people until you are given a reason not to. That there is good  in everyone and it is up to them how they use it. So growing up into my teen age years I was starting to get a taste of my trust being taken advantage of. Of course it was only little relationship break ups, your best friends lying to you about if that bow looking good in your hair or weenie boyfriends kissing other girl. Nonetheless it was a sample of your trust in someone being broken. 

Later in life and after rounds and rounds of broken hearts and back stabbing you start to develop a shell around yourself. The lesson that I was taught about trusting others until they give you a reason to not trust them starts to fade. The relationships start getting more important and your life takes on a new purpose as you begin to think about your future. Trust begins to be one of the most important keys to any relationships you have therefore making you keep watch on who has it. 

Now, after years of disappointment in people my trust life lesson has turned into DON'T TRUST ANYONE until they give you a reason to. That everyone will break your heart in one way or another. That everyone is only looking to better themselves and could care less about the outcome of you. Ya, I know this is a hard way to live but I am starting to realize that it's the only way I will survive.My shell has developed into a vault that only certain people get a key to.

There is still that little girl in me that does trust people and think that they have my best interest at heart. Deep deep down. But as soon as I let my guard down I am reminded why I had it up in the first place. 

When you loose trust for someone the next phase I am taught is forgiveness. What I get mixed up now is forgiveness with being naive. Is forgiving someone for misleading, hurting, being dishonest, lying to you just being naive? And when is that line crossed that there is no forgiveness left? Does it depend on how much you love someone?

You would think after 35 years of life you would have something like this figured out but what I am starting to realize is that in every situation when my trust is tested I respond and react in different ways which makes it hard for me to know exactly what I should and should not do. This is when I wish I could be 13 again and run home to my mom and dad and tell them to fix it. But seeing I'm not I am left with having to figure it all out on my own. Of course I have great friends to help, all giving different advice of course, which only seems to confuse me more. Good thing there is Google. - "Can you trust someone ever again after they loose your trust" has actually been typed into the search engine.

My Home Away from Home!!

Oh Florence! The love of my life. Oh how I have missed you! 

Stepping of the train into the Santa Maria Novella train station it all came rushing back to me. I remember that excitement and fear when I stepped off the train for the first time back in 1997. I had no idea what I was in store for. Little did I know that the next few months would change my life completely and make me who I am today. I couldn't help but feel that same excitement, with no fear at all this time, when I touched the platform.

Meredith and I's first stop to take it all in was Piazza della Signoria to have lunch and just absorb all the feelings we were having. I had tears in my eyes just walking there. It felt so familiar and I didn't hesitate on where to go.

After lunch it was over to the Ponte Vecchio

I just couldn't get over at the fact that I was back.

We were invited up to the villa for lunch with Robbie and Mona. They also invited Renata and Anna, our two amazing cooks that were there when I was in school. Renata was saying that she remembered me and that I haven't changed a bit and she began to cry which in turn made me start crying. They of course looked the same to me as well. Wish I had a photo of that moment but I filmed it instead and then my Flip broke so there you have it. 

Lunch was just how I remembered, delicious. I even got to ring the bell. It was odd sitting at the adult table. I wanted to take my assigned seat from the past but I would have been alone at the table. Oh well. 

Entrance to the Villa

Villa grounds. How many memories can you remember from this place??

Maccino, my villa kitty, is still there. I used to let this cat in every night and let it sleep with me in bed. Little did I know that it would get up during the night and pee on everyone else's beds. So sorry guys!!

Also in Italy now is my dear friend and college suite mate Christy Turk Smith. She and Keith and the kids moved there this year to just check off their "to-do" list. It was so great to see her and catch up.

Heather hooked us up with an amazing place to stay in Scandicci while we were there. It was a 15th century villa and was simply gorgeous. Here are a few shots.

Villa entrance

view from villa in the front

back view

Tons and Tons of Olive Groves

Robbie and Mona invited us over for dinner while we were there. Sitting around a table felt just like home. I consider them my far away parents and I know that they will always home a special place in my heart. After all, Robbie is the reason I stayed in Florence when after the first few weeks of HUF I was trying to leave to go home. He sat me down and had a long heart to heart with me. Months later I am the LAST one to leave the villa and I go kicking and screaming because I didn't want to go back to the US. 

More shots of the city

Heather and I were in the city and got stuck in the rain. It didn't even phase us. We decided to get gelatto and take the hike up to Piazzale Michaelangelo. While on our walk the church bells started ringing and she stopped me and said, "Jamie, lets take this in. We are in the rain, with gelato, with this amazing view and Italian church bells ringing in Florence." so we stood there and just had a moment. 

We also had to stop by and say hi to Cafe Mario, the first place that I ever spoke Italian and had a Cappuccino. Mario is still there and said that he remembered me, which I know is a lie. 

In 97 i would hear the guys say when they walked in, "Ciao, Bob Mario". What they were really saying was "Ciao Bar Mario". When I asked them why they were saying "Bob Mario" they told me that his real name was Roberto and they were calling him Bob for short. For the rest of the year I called him Bob Mario. I later was told the truth. So, when we got there and was talking to Mario I told him that story. He laughed so hard and said he remembered that but wasn't sure what I was saying. So for the rest of this trip I would stop in each day and say "Ciao Bob!!" He loved it!

Mario (aka Bob) and Fabio

One of our last nights in the city it happen to be Italy's Independence Day. Everyone was out on the streets celebrating. We joined in on the fun. 

The Blondies and Ivo at the Ponte Vecchio

The Gang in front of Santa Croce

My Italian brother Jonathan

Limoncello

Florence did not disappoint and I now know that I have to go back at least once a year. At least. 

On the way back to Rome we stopped for lunch in Montepulciano. We had VIP treatment and got to take a tour of the wine cellar and had a full spread of food laid out for us when we got there. I didn't want to leave.

So as you can see this was a much needed trip. I was on the verge of giving up on my NYC life after this Winter. I needed a break and Italy was just the right medicine. Meredith, Heather and I decided to make this an annual thing so whoever else wants to get on board with us and head out next March let us know.

Roma!!

As promised, here are some of the shots from the trip.

Rome has always been one of my favorite cities. I feel that i could live there just fine and never miss the US. Well I would have to work on my Italian of course

Spanish Steps view from Top

 Most of our days consisted of all the same things. Hanging out with the locals...

As many Cappuccinos as my body can handle

Drinking Vino

Doing a little roaming around and sightseeing

Shopping

Sitting outside at sidewalk cafes

Eating an amazing dinner

And then back to the wine. 

We happened upon the Spanish Steps again on one of our late night walks home. This time it was at 4am and apparently there is NO ONE out. Even in the most crowded place in Rome. So we took advantage of it and did a photo shoot.

Overall Rome did not disappoint. I still love it there and will move there at the drop of a hat if offered a job. It's full of romance, night life, amazing people, history and the hustle and bustle of the city that I have to have. 

Trevi Fountain

Just Plain Lazy

I have been back from Italy for going on 3 weeks now and have yet to post any pics. I also have yet to really talk about the trip. I have kind of been in Italian Relaxation Mode for these weeks and haven't really thought about getting on with my normal life at all. It's been really nice. I promise that I will post some soon. Maybe tonight, if I don't find something else to distract me.

The trip all around was great. It was exactly what I needed to get me out of my Winter Time Blues. I was on the verge of moving out of NYC and starting a new life somewhere else. I'm not sure why this Winter got to me so much. Maybe it was the combo of the bad work situation, dating disasters, medical mysteries, turning the ancient age of 35 and it snowing every single day that did it. Regardless, 10 days in Italy got me out of my rut and was the perfect medicine.

We spent 10 days of eating, drinking vino rosso (that's red wine if you needed the translation) and sitting with the locals. I didn't have my blackberry on me so I had no connection to my normal life. I really enjoyed that. I realized that when I got back to the States I had no idea what had been going on in the world. Was Charlie Sheen still alive? 
When the plane touched down in NYC I turned on my cell. It buzzed with message notices for over half an hour. There were over 100 emails and texts. I was overwhelmed and way to relaxed to even deal so I just turned it off again.

Meanwhile, here in NYC life has been good. Spring has been trying to make an appearance but can't seem to find it's way here. Though I have been able to retire my puffy down coat for the winter. Nothing makes me happier than storing away all my winter coats. I swear I would love to burn them all if I could, but I know I will have to have something to wear down the road so I'd better not.

Work has been better. I have new leads on the new company and have a friend helping me with my website. Also, having meetings with a few people to build leads and connections. I know this all seems vague because I haven't really written about it and I'm sorry about that. Just want to make sure I have all my ducks in a row before I post it on the world wide web. More to come I promise.

Dating life has been... let's just say I am pleasantly surprised ;) I am smiling constantly and have found myself giddy for no reason. I don't want to jinx anything just yet so I will leave it with, I am very happy.

Easter weekend I am going down to Houston to see my family and favorite cousins Hollie and Heidi. I am very excited to spend time with their little families and meet their newest born. There will be 8 kids in the house all under the age of 10. I have a feeling the only reason I am invited down is to babysit so that the parents get to relax. I will tell you right now, I REFUSE to sit at the kids table this time. I am an adult and not even close to being the youngest.

So that is me in a nutshell. Spring is a happy time. Thank you Spring for bringing April showers that bring May flowers. But most importantly for washing away February and March's crap.