Ch-Ch-Ch- Changes

Yes there are tons of things in my life that are changing right now. When it rains it pours. It's like my life will be calm and settled and then BAM! everything changes. I long for the day that I have a little bit of stability and know that each year is going to be the same. No, I don't want boring, that I will make sure of, but knowing that each morning when you wake up there will be no drama and stress. Does that ever happen?

When I was younger I thought when I turned 30 I would have everything figured out. Heck, when I turned 30 I thought that I would have everything figured out. I was excited about leaving the craziness of my 20's behind me and ready to move on to a more adult life. I am starting to realize that this may never happen.

I recently started a new job. When I went to London I had to give up work here. Although that was a risky move and I took a HUGE chance, at the time it was the right thing to do. So when I came back, during the beautiful economy crises, I had to start over. I got out there and went to interview after interview. It took about a month but I finally found something. Nothing that I really see myself in the future but a GREAT company that maybe can help me out down the line. Ever heard of the Rockefeller's?

With this job I can still do PR and side projects if I want. It also gives me time to really focus on what direction I want to take next. The people here are amazing and extremely intelligent. I know that I will learn a lot from being here and the next step will be a great one. I have really enjoyed going to work rather than working from home. Sure waking up at 6:30AM is tough but I am adjusting and growing to like getting my day started early. I've even been waking up on the weekends before 8am without an alarm. Some of you will be very impressed by that.

Another change is I am getting a new roommate. Ashlee Williams never came through, if someone hears from her let me know. I am a little worried.
I would rather not have a roommate at age 33 but unfortunately I live in the most expensive city ever and living in Greenwich Village is not cheap. Yes, I know it is my choice and I wouldn't change it. This new girl is from Canada and is in Grad school at NYC and I am happy that I found a normal and cool person to live with. I am 11 years her senior. She is sweet and adorable and I will take on the roll as her big sister. But again, I did not see myself living with a roommate at this age. It makes me evaluate everything.

The major change, and I will keep it short, I am single again. I won't go into too many details because I don't really have too many details to give, I am still trying to figure it all out for myself. It came out of no where and I was caught completely off guard. Shocked really. It's been a week and I am surprised of how well I am doing. Yes, it is still extremely hard and there was a while there that I was not sure if I was going to be able to function. I still wonder if I will relapse. But I do know that I can do this. I have done it before. There are just so many questions still and maybe one day I will get answers. But for now all I can focus on myself and keeping busy. Thanks to a few people for keeping my mind on other things.

With all these changes comes new adventures and new people. I am trying my hardest to be optimistic. I have my days. I have heard EVERY cliche in the book and frankly am a little sick of them. The phrase, "Everything happens for a reason" was totally made up by a woman going through a break up trying to convince herself that she was ok, you know it was.
I don't handle changes well, good or bad. And right now everything about my life seems to be changing. It just sucks (sorry mom, I know you don't like that word). The best advice I had was from a friend that just said, Deal with it!". I laughed and was a little taken back but thought, "Yep, that's all I can do." I washed my hands of it and that is just what I am doing. Dealing with it.

So here we go. Another adventure. Let's hope that the next year is even better than the past 2 were.