Why me?

I live in a city of 8.2 million people. 8.2 Million, that's a lot, right? We all live on a little island that is only 22.96 square miles. It's a huge place but actually very small. You would think that it would be near impossible to bump into someone you know, right? Well I have found that it is not only easy to bump into someone you know but even easier to bump into someone you don't want to see.

I have a gift. A gift of running into my ex's.
One of my ex's lived right outside of NYC but it never failed, I saw him every weekend. He liked to hang out in my neighborhood. I understand why as I live in the coolest hood in the city but why would he hang out on my street right in front of my apartment? Or at my regular brunch spot? There is so many other places in the city to go.

Another ex, one that I only had 4 dates with, lived down the street. Of course I would see him around. What's funny is that we see each other at least once a month in random spots in the city. At the gym, in a restaurant in another neighborhood, grocery store, passing on the street. Not once have we ever acknowledged each other. We act like we don't even know each other. Real mature, I know. But what's the point? It would just be this surfacy conversation that neither one of us has time for. After all, he has a busy job of picking up trash on the streets, putting it in a box and selling it as a souvenir of NYC. http://nymag.com/content/04/wk22/bestbets_040526.htm

2 date Wall Street boy, isn't lucky enough to be called an ex. But still someone that I would not want to run into again. 2 awkward bad dates in a row and then I just stopped returning his calls and emails. Of course I don't want to bump into him and have to explain why I was so mature in how I ended things. Where do I run into him? The busiest place in the city of course, Times Square. That place is a zoo of people and I am lucky enough to find Waldo. I was out with a client and he literally ran right into me. Before either of us could realize that it was each other I was off across the street.

Not an ex boyfriend but a random bump into over and over again was with Mike Myers, the actor not the killer. I bumped into him 3 times in one day and pretty much every other weekend after that for a year. Another time walking home late at night in the West Village and then several other times at bars and restaurants. He doesn't know my name but he does know my face. He does the light hello nod when we pass.

Most recent, Saturday night on the lower east side in a dark bar. The place was full of extremely tall people for some reason, so of course I fit in. I hear my BFF Bethany say cheerfully, "Hiiiii" i turn around to see who it is as the tone in her voice sounded like it was someone I wanted to see. Who's in front of me, the most recent ex. It's been over a year since I've seen him and of course on the night of amazon people in this place he, being 6'5, is there. I turn and say hi then go back to my dance impersonation of Janet Jackson.

Why does this happen? It's always with people that I would rather not see. I never bump into Derek Jeter or Mark Ruffalo. These are men that I would love to run into but no, it's always people that you don't really feel like talking to again. I would like this to stop please. It's not funny anymore.