And She's Down for the Count...

I thought it would be a good idea to try something new this summer. I thought that doing something from my childhood would bring me joy and happiness. Umm, ya. I am pretty sure that I am not a child anymore.

I ordered a kick scooter from my Chase Rewards Points, I really love those things. It makes you buy things that you don't really need, i.e. a Crock Pot, Thigh Master, steak knives and a Shake Weight. So why would ordering a Kick Scooter be any different?
I am so excited when it is delivered to me in the mail at work. I thought about scootin' home but decided to wait till I was dressed a little more appropriately.

Jamie, why a scooter? Well friends, I will tell you.

1. I sometimes need to get places faster than normal and it has been hurting my knees to walk as fast as I do so i thought, "Hey, how about I scoot instead."
2. I see Hugh Jackman, Mario Batali, Matthew Broderick and Susan Sarandon Scootin all over the West Village so why can't I?
3. I can't seem to save enough money to buy a Vespa.
4. I want every guy in Manhattan to think I am 12 rather than 16.
5. Why Not?

So my first day out I scoot over to have dinner on Christopher and Washington in the West Village. It normally would take me about 20 minutes to walk it. Scooting it took me 8. Think of all the time I will save scootin' around the city. I will be able to get so much done.

The Cobra, that is what I named it, handled well. It was a little uncomfortable going over cracks and bumps but on smooth surfaces it was perfect. Thank goodness NYC doesn't have any cracks in their roads (sarcasm inserted here). By the time I got to the restaurant I was sweaty and looked like I had just been through an entire hour of bikram yoga but I still had a great time so it didn't seem to bother me. Someone pointed out that the scooter seemed small. That maybe it was a child's scooter. I denied it and tried to blow it off as if I had done my research on them and knew that I had bought the right one for my size. Little do they know that i DID in fact buy it off of the child's section on the Chase Rewards Catalog. Whoops! Oh well, "good thing I am small so it doesn't matter so it still fits," I thought.

4 days after my first scootin' adventure, when the above picture was taken, I decided to scoot the farthest I had ever gone. 20 blocks to Bed Bath and Beyond. I had to pick up an item that only they carry so I had to make the trip.

Scooting there was a easy. Through Washington Square Park, Up 5th Ave and cross over on 19thth Ave. Sidewalk to street, sidewalk to street. Easy Breezy. On my way back i had my bag hooked to my handle bars since it wasn't too heavy. But what was heavy was the traffic on 5th. I was trying to avoid car traffic and people traffic at the same time. I even got a little air while ramping off the curb. I was confident and had full control.

As soon as my confidence kicked in my front wheel wedged into a deep crack on the sidewalk. The scooter came to an abrupt stop while I kept going. Head first I flew over my handle bars and flipped on to the sidewalk making a sound like a walrus when I hit the pavement. As soon as I hit I thought to myself, "there is no way I will be able to stand after hitting this hard," but with the embarrassment of EVERYONE IN MANHATTAN staring at me I quickly got to my feet, with the help of 2 business men in suits, and got right back on my scooter.

I began to scoot away when I hear, "miss, I think these are yours." I was handed a Jumbo size box of Tampons that I picked up in the "Beyond" section of the store. I know at age 34 I shouldn't be embarrassed about that but if i hadn't just flown over a child's scooter on 5th ave during rush hour I think I would have said thank you and walked off. Instead, I say, "Oh those... huh? No they... um... ya.. ok," and then get on my scooter and scoot away.

As I get closer to home, almost in tears due to the pain and the embarrassment, I decided that the scootin' days are over. I see my supers kid on the way in and just hand the scooter over to him saying, "here, have it. It's yours now."

The very next week I go to the doctor and have my knees looked at. Now I am in physical therapy and have to look like a robot 2 times a week.
Thanks Chase Rewards Points! Thanks for giving me the opportunity to bruise my body and my ego at the same time.